Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do you confront your own family for not inviting you or leaving you out of things?

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Justin Bieber talks 'anger issues,' says he's 'broken' in emotional Instagram post - ABC News

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I actually pay taxes

Supernus Pharmaceuticals to Acquire Sage Therapeutics, Strengthening its Neuropsychiatry Product Portfolio - Sage Therapeutics

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Major supermarket chain workers start strike across 4 cities - TheStreet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Are female judges more lenient than male ones?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

What song are you listening to right now? What does it mean to you?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Costco opens a whole new kind of store - TheStreet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Do happily married husbands cheat?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Red Dead Redemption's John Marston Actor Teases "Exciting News" Coming Soon - GameSpot

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What does it mean when a guy says he doesn't want to ruin the friendship? Is he rejecting me or is there another explanation? Why would a guy choose not to risk the friendship if he has feelings for me?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How will the article end in Part III of Gleissner's hit piece?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Low-carb diets linked to reduced depression symptoms — but there’s a catch - PsyPost

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is better, 4 more years of Trump with the media trying to hurt him, or 8 years of DeSantis with the media licking booty, or 4 to 8 years of RFK with the media hating on him all the time? (Biden is not an option, he can't win)

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

This Week In Space podcast: Episode 165 — Guardians of Space - Space

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy bullshit

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality